My Sacral Said Yes, My Bank Account Filed a Complaint

It started with good intentions.
Okay fine—it started with a full moon, a cup of peppermint mocha, and the whisper of possibility that sounded like:

“You should totally start a metaphysical snack line.”

And just like that, my Amazon purchase history began its slow descent into what I now refer to as The Chronicles of Chaos™.

🛒 The Haul of Shame (aka Divine Inspiration in Disguise)

Let’s review, shall we?

• A professional butterfly net (for catching dreams. or ADHD thoughts. unclear.)

• Three—not one, not two, THREE—singing bowls (because my vibration has layers, okay?)

• A cotton candy machine for my Metaphysical Munchies™ business idea (still pending launch, possibly never)

• A disco ball plant holder (because my succulents weren’t dramatic enough)

• A life-sized cardboard Shemar Moore (don’t judge—my Sacral said UH-HUH with conviction)

At this point, even Amazon was like:

“Do we… do we need to alert someone?”

📦 Suggested For You: Spiritual Roasts

Amazon’s shade got progressively more personalized, with categories such as:

• “Because You’re Obviously Starting Another Business This Week”

• “Storage for Your Shiny Object Graveyard”

• “You’ll Definitely Use This Once, Then Emotionally Detach”

• “Since You’re a Mermaid Healer Now Apparently”

Meanwhile, my cart had no fewer than four types of journaling pens, seven oracle decks, and something called “Emotionally Supportive Yarn.”

I blacked out and woke up with a DIY charm bracelet kit for cats.

🎙️ Then Alexa Intervened…

She queued up every 3 AM voice command I’d ever whispered like some passive-aggressive tech oracle:

“Alexa, order glow-in-the-dark paint for grief art.”
“Alexa, add ‘giant inflatable unicorn’ to cart—it’s for my brand.”
“Alexa, find pasta that looks like angel wings for my new spirit food pop-up.”
“Alexa, do I need a Cricut?”
“Alexa, WHY AM I LIKE THIS?”

🧿 But Also? This Is My Sacred Generator Path

Yes, I buy weird stuff.
Yes, I start things I don’t finish.
Yes, I have 19 open tabs and a Google Drive full of semi-launched spiritual empires.
But you know what?

That’s part of being a Multipassionate Generator.

We create in spirals. We collect tools for the version of ourselves we haven’t met yet.
We follow sparks—not because we’re flaky, but because we’re tuning forks for joy.

🧰 CQ Real Talk Wrap-Up:

If you’re like me, your Amazon history might not make sense to anyone else.
But it’s not chaos.
It’s cosmic scaffolding for something incredible—even if it’s just a zine titled “WTF Did I Order This Time?”

So bless your butterfly net.
Kiss your disco ball.
And know that Shemar Moore would absolutely approve of your sacral alignment.